I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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