Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
