there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
