god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
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