My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
