If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
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