I just threw up on my dentist
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
