Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize