and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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