Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
