dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.