she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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