Just mADE A PArabola og urine
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just crazy horny about you
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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