do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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