What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
