therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don't want my vagina anymore.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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