I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
