i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize