So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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