Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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