I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
whose ass print is on the piano?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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