how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
