3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize