i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
