i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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