so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
