yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
