How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
