Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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