I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize