..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
