I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
