toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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