You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
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In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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