You made me cry and you don't even care
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
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you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
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We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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