You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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