Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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