I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
