Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
