Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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