He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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