I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
