Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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