just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
