so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
