i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
