So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
