just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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