sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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