White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
