You just made me feel so damn special
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
either way he was missing a nipple.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
