Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Define "chronic" masturbator.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
