So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
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i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
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I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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