Dual....:-)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize