Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
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You tried to poop in the sink last night.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
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I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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