Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you had me at cake vodka
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize