I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize