Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
there was a trapeze. enough said
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
