i don't like sucking hair
You can't special order awesome
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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