Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
