Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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