Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
only you would photoshop your dick
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
