I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
