Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
