I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
