Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
